i miss myself?

i hate how after working so much, I've kind of lost myself. I've become less silly I guess; not as many silly faces or crazy sounds, and no jumping around and quick quips. I'm pretty sure that I've gotten very tired.
I miss me. :[

went to the city..
hung outt w. a friends.
felt inspired.
that kinda thing. (:

was in the city today.

I was on the train today, and I drew this along with many other things. I also went to the MoMA, but crowds bother me in galleries, and it was Saturday.

So, I'll come on a Monday morning (alone) or something & take notes/drawings in peace..

I never noticed how much of a people watcher I am by the way... more entries will come involving these people.

over & over.

it's getting colder here.
I hate it so much.
I think I need to be with people that are good for me.
The bad friend thing does not work for me at all.
I need another do over...
give me an eraser.(this is supposed to be my hand.. )

beautiful day for a boat ride?

Today was a mostly boring day, as has been most of my week. Until this afternoon.
I should really blog about the people I meet on a daily instead of all the nonsense I usually blog about.
Anyways, after a walk around, I finally went to the park, it's like my go to place, a second home really.
I just aimed for my usual spot on the dock by the river && I saw from afar this sort of boat thing. I'm thinking it looks like some sort of homeless person raft to sell things, but no. Turns out it's this group of out of college guys that decided to make their own raft made of wood, scraps, stereo foam and other sorts and parts heading out from Vermont at the beginning of August to their final destination, NYC.
To them it's been day 17 or something, they marked it on a log (which is part of the boat). Then they stayed at the docks for a while and talked. They all gave up shaving and gave me their blogs, emails & facebook names.
If I remember correctly, their names were Mike, Josiah, Dean, Felix and Devin...? I could be wrong but I drew what I remembered, and I'm sure that THAT didn't fail me. (I also drew on some of their things as a personal souvenir, I hope they liked it.)
I was talking to them for a while (bombarding them with questions, I can't help it) and hung around, that even people that were curious enough to ask them questions, thought I was traveling with them.
In all seriousness, if I did not live with my parents, I would've gone with in a heartbeat.
I think it's in my nature. Besides, these guys looked really cool.
adventure is in my blood? haha.

..and I thought today would be a boring day.

No quiero estar donde no me busquen.
O regresar a lo que ya supieron de mi.

Chapter 2

The best thing we could do, was to let her be.
She wanted no one's touch. Loathed your breath.
-I wanted to be her. She never got hurt.

One day I'll find her, and we'll build what we dreamed of as children..
And maybe we could go back and live those happier days. Where crying was innocent and not provoked.
Where we could fall, and never wonder if we would be caught.
Because without a doubt, there would be someone.


But that's when I find her.
And we all know she does not want to be found.~



[ By the way, this is like my first painting.
It's still not finished. I'm planning to add more color,
something I don't usually do. ]

home all day.

Today I woke up at my worst; considering I could barely walk, I went back to sleep. I woke up at 3pm, my dad gave me pasta & meatballs in bed; it was lunchtime.

This afternoon I was watching Avatar on Nickelodeon, nothing special, just a re run. Then later, I was just online minding my own business, and I hear the intro to the Avatar on tv. They're going to remake it into a movie. I don't have to say anything whatsoever.
I already know it's going to be crap.
It's going to be a disaster, like the harry potter movies.
Don't even get me started.

So, I was checking facebook this afternoon and saw that THE VERONICAS were coming to my town. I am SO psyched right now. It's so fucking awesome. I can't wait.

I also checked another calendar online, a lot of bands I like will be playing soon, Alesana, Kittie, Kill Paradise, & Black Dahlia Murder.
In other news, I think I like someone! ! ! !
Lets keep our fingers crossed shall we? xoxo
~jD*

evapOrate~

Sometimes, I wonder when people drift off into their little space,
who is it that they leave in their bodies. Themselves obviously,
but is it a raw version of themselves or a different essence to who
they are completely? Or possibly parts of their persona? Are they
trapped? Can't they drift off as well? Traces to who this person is.
There's a song "Soul meets body" by Death Cab for Cutie, and it
says that -if they silence takes you, than i hope it takes me too..
&& I don't know, maybe when we drift off, we should let everything
else take over, for all we know, that may be who we really are.

But of course no one knows who they really are, and maybe I 'm
wrong, there are those that do. I shall speak for myself and maybe
let this body take over where the soul left off.
~

Chapter 1

She writes him a letter.
Pouring herself out and knowing at the same time, he won't write back.
You can always hope, she says to herself. Her eyes scan the letter, the curves of
her loops, the detail in her words. And just like that, she threw it away.
It's for no one. There never was, and there will never be.
She then finds herself deep in thought, far away, in a made up memory she visits
only in times of discomfort.
There was no home. She had herself, maybe it's what she needed.
Or what she needed to believe.
~